So…..APAC happened last week and I was so swamped with work that I only managed to drop in on the networking sessions in the last 2 hours of the last day. Kicking myself for not scheduling around it. If you’re not familiar with APAC- it’s the big audiobook narrator’s conference that happens once a year (usually in NYC around the annual Book Expo, but….Covid. It was virtual this year).

You would think that Zoom would make those face to face experiences less awkward, but not really. Your big noggin is constantly on the screen and available to anyone at any moment so they can see all those weird uncontrollable nose twitches you do when you’re uncomfortable. The opportunity to hide in a corner is taken away from you. When you DO decide to open your mouth to say something, there’s this feeling that it needs to be a statement worthy enough to interrupt and carry over all the other voices. It must be inspiring, hilarious, intellectual, or educational.

I was coming off the high of making a particularly funny joke in one group and was then shuffled off to another room by the moderator. They did this to ensure a variety of interactions and have it not be so cliquey…as they often end up being. So NOW I find myself in a room with a bunch of ‘A-list’ narrators and, suddenly, my need to step up and make myself heard is both essential and also completely unnecessary.

Now’s my chance. My chance for a little dark humor will delight this room of open minded creatives! Someone said, “Wow, (insert A-list narrator name here) you look so relaxed!”

Deep breath. Prepare for hilariousness.

I say, “What you don’t know is that she murdered someone between sessions. That’s where she gets her stress relief!”

**crickets**

Wise and respected A-list narrator completely ignores comment and responds to normal person.

I slink back to silence and horror.

Sigh. And that’s why I’m ‘C’…..’D’ (?) list.